Netflix just released the new season of Orange is the New Black, and my Facebook feed has been filled with it. That and spoilers of Game of Thrones, and The Walking Dead. All shows I watched in another life. In this one, though, my TV addiction is Pretty Little Liars. I binge watched the first five seasons this winter and missed the addition of season six until today. Five episodes in, and I finally realized the draw for me with this show.
If you haven't seen it, it centers around a group of teenaged girls who live in a state of constant terror and silence at the hands of an unseen enemy. They are living in a state of fear and paranoia where whenever they relax, another threat arises. The emotions they are dealing with are all too familiar for me.
I can relate to their need to put on a false smile and pretend everything is okay, in order to save their loved ones. They are suffering from PTSD while they remain in a war zone. This is the dramatization of what it's like to live in an emotionally abusive relationship.
They have been beaten down and fight to remind themselves that they are worthy of love, life, and peace. It is by rooting for them that I am learning to root for myself.
I sometimes fear that I was too fragile, too battle weary to enter the new relationship that I am in. That may be true, but it is also true that I am deserving of the love, laughter, and peace that my current relationship provides.
Maybe it's possible to heal while moving forward. Short of institutionalization, we don't get to press pause and heal. Most of us bandage our wounds while we are still on the field. Life has no timeouts.
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